Springtime and Harvest!

Spring is one of the busy seasons at the farm. It’s a season of great expectation.

After the long winter, most farmers are itching to get to the land. We work up the soil and prepare it for the seeds.

Then we plant the seeds, and pray for a harvest.

It’s fun to be an observer to this annual event. The more farmers that live in my house the more the excitement grows.

Sometimes things happen that scare the farmer’s wife, an example of that would be the phone call this spring from Trent.

“Mom, has dad called you yet?”

In my head I’m thinking, no, but what happened. “No, why”

(Trent has now been introduced to the proper procedure for telling a mother about close calls. He starts the conversation with, “mom, I’m o.k., but…, )

Trent began telling me how he was driving an open air tractor, and he was pulling a dump cart that was too big for it. As he began descending a hill the dump cart began bouncing and it continued to bounce until it was right beside Trent’s tractor and they both thought going into the ditch was a better place for this new configuration.

It reminded me that my prayer life is essential as we face a season of farming. You never know. But that’s really true for any season.

As I reflect on spring and the expectation of it, I am reminded of my short life on this earth. In the scope of eternity even if we live to be 100, that’s not that long. I want to live a life of great expectation.  A life that shows purpose, faith and a hope that does not fade. This requires for me to walk by faith not by sight.

2 Corinthians 4

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal!

When Kent prepares a field for seeds, there is a time of waiting where our eye cannot detect anything going on. But there is!! It’s actually an amazing miracle, God has designed a seed to burst forth with new life, and that life comes forth from the moisture He has given or allows us to give, and the sunshine that He shines down. Every field is a miracle, a reminder of let go and watch God!

I don’t mean to minimize what the farmer does or his sons, but I know they are very aware that with all they can do and the technology that has improved their ability to farm the land, God determines our harvest.

It’s that way for us too, in this life sometimes a step God is asking us to take makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t. But when I can remember that all God wants is my obedience, “Kim, just drop in the seed.” I can leave the harvest to Him.

I cannot wait to see what God is going to do with the harvest this year on the farm. I cannot wait to laugh and perhaps cry through some of the trials and opportunities that may arise between now and then.  But beyond that, I am confident that my mind cannot even comprehend the incredible harvest that He has in mind as I pursue Him and seek to find joy in this journey He has laid before me.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.

1 Corinthians 2:9

Thanks once again God for being so BIG and surprising me with your infinite Greatness and Goodness.

No turning back, no turning back!!

Victoria Ana...Surprise with brown eyes!!

Turns out with all of the birthdays in March and April, my posts are just re-living the amazing way God has created our family. Tomorrow is Victoria Ana's 6th birthday. Her's is a God-story of immense proportions.



Kent and I were vacationing with our family in Florida at my parents' home,

when we received a call from back home. One of the seasonal workers had contacted the farm and wanted us to adopt her un-born child. She was due in 2 weeks. At this time in our family we had six children. We were surprised, to say the least, but felt that we could at least walk Ana through this difficult time for her and maybe help her find a family for her child. She had an ultra sound that said she was carrying a girl.

I was already dreaming of pink bows and ribbons and curls. But the sensible one of our team was doing a better job of waiting and seeing if this is what God had for us.

We contacted a social worker at Bethany Christian Services and began the process of trying to find some help for Ana. About a week later I met Ana for the first time. I was going to pick her up and we would go to the Bethany Office together, she would have an opportunity to meet with a translator and social worker and we could find out how best to help her.

I was so nervous walking up to the door to knock and inquire if this was the right house. When the door opened it was obvious I was. Initially I was struck with how beautiful this young woman was, she had deep brown eyes, and amazing curly hair that hung just below her shoulders. I wanted to cry. I had dealt with two birth moms before, but I had never met one face to face. When God created mothers, His intention was that the bond between her and her child would never be broken. Although I was excited about the possibility of a beautiful, brown eyed girl, my heart ached for this woman standing before me.

We went to our appointment and as we left the social worker said. "Ana knows exactly what she wants, she wants your family to adopt her baby, she wants you to be in the delivery and she wants the baby to go right home to your house."

We got busy, we needed to update our home study and deal with a couple of other stacks of papers, but God had already planned for Ana to go overdue with Victoria. So when labor began the papers were completed.

Victoria's birth was unique. I was with Ana at the hospital, neither of us could speak the others language. For parts of the labor we had a translator, but for most of the difficult parts we did not. My heart hurt for her as she longed for her mother and would cry out for her. At some point during the labor she began to cry for me. I did my best to comfort her and help her through the delivery process. Victoria Ana was born in the wee hours of the morning on April 22, 2006. She took my breath away. I was so proud of Ana. I so wished I could talk with her.

We spent the next 2 days at the hospital. I was given a separate room and would check in on Ana and see if she needed anything. One night we were able to call a number provided by the hospital where a translator could help us talk to each other. Ana thanked me over and over again for adopting her precious girl. I wept.

I loved Victoria, but I was realizing I loved Ana too and so wanted to help her and find a way to make her life better.

On the morning of April 24th it was time to go home. It was a very difficult parting, one that neither Kent or I were prepared for. Just before the appointed time to leave I went to Ana's room and I saw her kissing Victoria's feet. I walked away as tears were streaming down my face.

How on earth could I complete this task before me. It was so gut-wrenching. I guess I thought that somehow if we were doing the right thing, the God-thing that He would make it feel all right. But it wasn't. We were able to give Ana a bracelet and a book of pictures of Victoria and then we left in separate cars. We were crying all the way home. We had one of the most beautiful gifts we had ever been given and yet, there was a brokenness involved in that great gift.

As we paused at the end of driveway, we realized that God had brought us this far and He would provide us with all we needed to take the next step. We were able to go inside where the happy throng greeted us with pure exhileration at another Karnemaat to join the ranks.

Victoria Ana, you are such a blessing, God has an amazing plan for your life, just look at the way in which He orchestrated your entrance. You were so loved by so many, and you were such a perfect fit for our family.

 God always has the best ideas and your life has changed mine in ways I cannot express. Thanks for being our sweet, little princess with just the right amount of spice to keep us hopping!

Happy Birthday, Victoria!! You were such a gift to us, I thank my God for you everyday!!

Spencer Troy...one of the best surprises, EVER!

Tomorrow we celebrate Spencer’s 11^th birthday, as we are awaiting the celebration of another birth. Jordan and Nate are expecting baby #2 any day. Spencer has been praying to share a birthday, so we will see what God has in mind.

As I was thinking back to Spencer’s exciting arrival, I was reminded that he was one of God’s best surprises. I was standing at the sink in my parents’ house looking out at the lake and thinking. Why wasn’t I feeling good? I almost felt flu-like. I was concerned because we were traveling the next week to Guatemala to pick up Hope Olivia and bring her home to join her almost 2 year old sister from the same country. But what was this nagging nausea about.

A light bulb went on and I became aware of the possibility of a Spencer.

 I called Kent, he suggested we buy a test and see if that would shed light on the situation.

It did.

I passed.

I’d failed plenty of those tests, but passing, WOW I was so excited. I hadn’t let the reality of going from 3 kids to 5 in less than 9 months deter my enthusiasm. I also didn’t factor in that when Spencer would be born I would have a 2 year old, 1 year old and a new born. 

Kent came home from work and I showed him the evidence of a Spencer.  The reality of what I described above was a reality to Kent and he told me with frank honesty.

“Kim, I am really excited for you. I am just going to need a couple of days and I will get there too!”

He did.

We traveled to Guatemala, keeping Spencer a secret.

As we arrived home in Grand Rapids to an airport full of family and friends welcoming  sweet Hope!

We were both excited and grateful for a Spencer!

As things go for our pregnancies, the vomiting began the night we arrived home. God had allowed Guatemala to happen without that portion beginning and I was grateful.  So on Labor Day Weekend we shared the secret of Spencer with our family.

They were surprised too!

The verse that God gave to me during the waiting for Spencer was this:

Ephesians 3: 20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I can imagine a lot. But God did immeasurable more than I could imagine. I never imagined a Spencer.

He is still surprising me.  I love the part that it is to His glory that He chooses to surprise us.

Spencer, my boy, I don’t know what great things God has planned for you. I do know that I couldn’t possibly imagine them. I do know that it is immeasurable more than anything you or I could even think of. All I know is you were all God’s idea and you have been one of the best gifts I was ever entrusted with.

So Happy Birthday thanks for reminding me daily about what an awesome God I have.

Lessons from my firstborn!

March 8^th is a great day in our house.

We celebrate 2 birthdays.

Nathan was born on March 8, 1990 and Hope was born on March 8, 2000.

What a great day!

Nathan will turn 22 this year and he is about to welcome his 2^nd child into their family.

This is amazing to me on many levels.  Nate is one of the greatest dads I’ve ever met. It is quite obvious when I see his interaction with Joel, Mr. Joel agrees with my assessment.

Nathan was a baby prayed for and longed for. It took some time and when we finally knew he was coming we were so excited. We were ill-prepared most likely, but in God’s great time and His great way, Nathan arrived. 

There are several things I’ve learned from Nate.

Enjoy the details. Nate usually notices these and finds a fascination that most people don’t realize. It’s amusing and amazing to be a witness to his observations.

Nate was our practice kid, everyone has one and usually it is your first one. His personality was perfect to practice on, ‘cause he’s pretty resilient and forgiving. He’s oh so forgiving.

Nate showed me how to love a massive group of siblings, finding each one unique and finding ways to involve himself in relationships with each of them. He showed me how to watch and learn and then act and make a little person’s whole world light up!

Nathan and Trent ready for war!

  Demonstrating for Will and Victoria the proper way to ride the BIG WHEEL!!

I’ve also observed in Nate the ability to wait patiently on God. This is a lesson that I’ve failed many times, yet when I observe Nate I admire his surrender and ability to allow God the opportunity to work in His life, in His time!

I am so grateful to know Nathan Karnemaat.

When I realize I’ve been privileged to be his mom, I’m brought to my knees in gratitude for God’s great providence and love in granting such a gift to me.

Happy Birthday, Nate, you continue to show me so much by your life and the way you follow Him. You captured my heart 22 years ago today and I’ve never been the same since. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I love you, Nate, happy birthday!

The Quest!

Today is a wee bit better,

I think…

I want to be careful before declaring restored health, but the sun was shining and the nausea seemed less and when I looked in the mirror the pained look on my face seemed like maybe it was gone.

So I got a little adventurous. (It’s been almost a month, I’ve missed the usual antics.)

Will is 4 and as a baby never was attached to any sort of comfort feature, no thumb, no pacifier, no blankie. When he turned 2 he formed such attachments and they are still going strong. I would find him with his pillow sucking his thumb of all things. Who starts sucking their thumb when they are two? Will does. He was a bit of a fussy child, I would have gladly introduced the pillow and the thumb had I any indication it could bring this measure of soothing.  We have named said pillow, “sucky-thumb pillow”. It’s kind of lengthy but quite descriptive.

So Wednesday, Kent, Trent and Justin left our house to accompany Grace Bible Men’s Basketball to their Regional Tournament. In their haste and clearly not thinking during departure, someone snagged “sucky-thumb pillow”. I would think that anyone who lives in this house and breathes the air in these walls, knows what “sucky thumb pillow” looks like and the need that it is for some.

So yesterday morning, Will began searching for “sucky-thumb pillow”, he was distraught. We lose it often but when we do a full on press, it is found. Well, we couldn’t find it anywhere. He was moaning, “Hope, I just need my pillow, so – so bad!!” Then he found Gillian and started the same song. We looked everywhere. We endured the attempt at a nap without it and then bedtime, oh why haven’t I ordered another robin’s egg blue pillowcase, why do we have just one.

When Kent called last night I had an “aha” moment and inquired at the possibility that “sucky thumb pillow“ may have left with his crew. In fact it had.

AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 But then,

 what’s this?

 The pillow wasn’t in Wisconsin. It was actually in Kent’s truck in Howard City where the bus picked them up. Howard City is only a big half an hour.  So this morning...

It was sunny today,

 I felt like maybe a quest was in order.

Will was on board.

 We left in a blaze of glory. I didn’t have the van, I had Trent’s car, the one that doesn’t have the proper restraining devices required by law for children under 8. We were almost to Newaygo, when Chris Tomlin’s song, Our God came on the radio. I was so busy praising God for just a glimmer of health and the sun and a quest that in my singing loudly “Our God is greater, Our God is stronger, God you are higher, than any other….” That my foot must have felt the compulsion to press further down to the floor.  Anywho, I saw this special looking car and glanced at the speedometer, to realize I was violating some of the laws of the land. I quickly asked Will to buckle up, he couldn’t, he’s 4 and he didn’t have the special powers sucky-thumb pillow gives him.

I pulled over as that special car pulled up behind me acting like there was a party going on. Lights flashing…woo hoo!! I resisted the urge to explain that I had been confined to my home for nearly a month, I was on a mission of utmost importance to the return of sleep in our home and that I was praising God for all He had done for me. The officer asked where I was headed,

“Howard City”

“Did you realize you were speeding, ma’am?”

“No, officer, not until I saw your car and then I glanced and saw, yes in fact, I was.”

“So I got your attention?”

“Yes, sir you did!”

“Well, you caught mine as well, you were going quite fast.”

“I am sorry, officer.” I handed over the paperwork and thought, I deserve all of this, but it’s o.k.

While the officer was gone I looked back to check out Will. He had on a pair of snow goggles and he said.

“Am I going to jail?”

Laughing, I said, “No honey, mommy may have to pay some money for breaking several really important rules, but you aren’t going to jail.”

When the officer returned he asked how old the young man was.

“ He’s 4. “, was my sheepish reply.

“You know he needs to be in a booster?”

“Yes, officer I do, I am sorry.”

He sent me off with a warning and to be more cautious.

Sucky thumb pillow was found and retrieved and has brought some peace back to our house.

Upon reflection there is much to be thankful for,

Will and my safety

Mercy

Praise

Adventure

Humor

But most of all I was just so overwhelmed that I had received a tiny slice of my life back. Oh the crazy insanity that I have missed so much. I mean really how is it possible that within 5 miles of my house upon my first venture out I get stopped. Oh yes, that’s how I roll.

                                                        (Will holding sucky thumb pillow)

So I am just thanking God for continuing to reveal to me more of who He is and that sometimes while praising Him, He may choose to bless me in a way that I don’t deserve in any, way, shape or form! He did that today. 

And I am so grateful!!

Bind my wandering heart to thee!

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

 Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

 Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

 Call for songs of loudest praise.

 Teach me some melodious sonnet,

 Sung by flaming tongues above.

 Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

 Mount of Thy redeeming love.

As the days have now turned into weeks, I am looking for new ways to praise God in the midst of the “pause”. I came across this hymn and it’s always been a favorite, but today it seems especially meaningful to me.

I feel like this time of healing and restoring health could actually be described as “tuning my heart to sing thy grace”.  I really thought I knew how to sing of God’s grace, but this season has given me a whole new look at His grace.  I have realized that far too often I have looked at good things as God’s grace.

The completion of an adoption process…God’s grace

The birth of a child…God’s grace

A profitable harvest…God’s grace

Yep God’s grace fits perfectly in the good times, it’s beautiful and I’m happy and I am singing His praises.

But God’ grace today. The weakened vessel who sleeps, sits on the couch, feels like her contribution to her family has dwindled down to a few words of encouragement, perhaps. Is God’s grace here today.

Yes, it is. It looks different to me, but I see it.

Isaiah 43:18-20

“Forget the former things;

   do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

   and streams in the wasteland.

His grace is preparing me for something new. I know it. I can feel it. I am not entirely sure what it is, but I know with certainty that this is part of tuning my heart. As I wait for Him to complete the tuning process I will continue to sing His praises.

O to grace how great a debtor

 Daily I’m constrained to be!

 Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

 Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

 Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

 Prone to leave the God I love;

 Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

 Seal it for Thy courts above.

I am so grateful that in the midst of any circumstance God is there, He is at work, He is binding my wandering heart to His. So I will wait, but I will wait with expectancy as I see His grace today.

Everyday.

God’s grace.

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world

   C.S. Lewis

Speak Lord, your servant is listening.

Progress

I am counting the fact that last night I had a dream about changing the furniture around in my bedroom, as a precursor to the light at the end of the tunnel. Kent thinks I am crazy, it’s only a dream. Hmmm…maybe, but in the dream I was moving furniture. I was MOVING furniture.

Last week we realized the reason I wasn’t bouncing back is that I have mono, and bouncing back is kind of not something you do with mono. You sort of slide back into the land of the living at a snail’s pace, so you can understand my excitement with my dream.

My parents are flying home from Florida to sort of circle the wagons here on the home front. It will be great to see them, but I feel horrible that my plight is cause for their flight. If hopes and dreams and wishes could make me feel better, I would have been well a while ago. Today our house faced the weekly disappointment of missing Bible study, and the sting today was particularly painful, due to the Valentine’s festivities planned. The valentines are all ready and the eyes and hearts are all eager, and the 6:30a.m. march started with,

 “Are you feeling better, Mom?”

“Do you have a fever today?”

“Are you well enough to go to Bible Study?”

I even got breakfast in bed, a tall glass of apple juice, a protein bar and a heart shaped dark chocolate candy.

I realized earlier this week that the thing I struggle with the most when I am well, is the thing I struggle with while I am sick.

The Plan.

I just really need to know how long this affliction will last, at least that is what I tell myself. I only need to know the length of time.

But when I considered that,

 I realized that isn’t true.

 I want to know the plan so that I can negotiate. Perhaps offer God some great big promise of what I will do when health is restored and just maybe He could relent and restore me faster than the Plan, so that I can fulfill all these great things for Him.

I love the words of this song, and the reminder to me of what I do know and what I need to know.

I am not skilled to understand

 What God has willed, what God has planned

 I only know at His right hand

 Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed

 Christ died to save me; this I read

 And in my heart I find a need

 Of Him to be my savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives

 My Savior's always there for me

 My God: He was, my God; He is

 My God is always gonna be,     Aaron Shust

So for today,

I don’t know the plan,

I know the ONE who does,

My Savior’s always there for me

He’s always gonna be!!

This is progress!