25 years and counting!!

Kent and I have been married for 25 years today! We were mere children, I was 18 and he was 19. That seems like so long ago.

I remember...

           a mentor couple taking us out to a beautiful restaurant to celebrate our engagement.

I remember...
 
           they were so encouraging and sweet and they mentioned that they were celebrating their 25th anniversary that year.

I remember...

          with clarity thinking how "old" they were. They were still fun, but wow, they were old. God has allowed me to remember that, so that I can look at a couple now married for 50 years, and view them differently. Seriously, this is just around the corner for us. ;-)

God has surprised Kent and I many times on our journey together. But the biggest surprise of all is how He took two, very young people, grew them up and gave them a family and a life that neither of them ever dreamed of, but they both remain so grateful for. God writes the best love stories.

I remain...

                 grateful for the man that God has given to me to enjoy life with.

I remain...

                 in awe of the way God takes our lives and weaves them together in a way that sometimes feels a bit painful, but upon further reflection is simply stunning.

I remain...

                           excited for what the next 25 years will hold and the surprises God intends for us to enjoy or struggle through together.

I love you Kent, you were and remain God's best for me!!

... can you even believe the way God has surprised us with all of this.....

                           Better than I was

     More than I am,

and all of this happened, by  taking your hand!

Gillian Grace...God's surprise from Guatemala!!

It may amaze you to know that although we have 9 children through God's extravagant plan, we actually had some years of infertility. Those were extremely difficult as any who know that pain can relate. I didn't understand that period of time until my sister in law, Billie, offered this possible explanation several years ago.


"Kim, I think I know why God had you go through those years of infertility, because He knew what was coming your way and He needed you to want a baby really bad, because it wasn't going to be just one!" She may be right!!


What I didn't realize during that time of infertility is that God had a plan and He was at work. I love John Piper's quote regarding this mystery.

In every situation God is always doing 1000 we cannot see and don’t know, if we don’t understand why He’s allowing the situation we’re presently in, we can trust Him that  999  other things are going on and are all working together for our good and His glory.

So one of those 999  things God was working on that I didn’t see, was opening our hearts to adoption. We began praying about that. But we weren’t sure. There is an acknowledgement of loss when you pursue adoption and turn from the time and investment of treating infertility. During that time we went to a marriage conference and it was there that God threw the first brick.

Maybe some of you have heard this before, as the recipient of several bricks, I can relate.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at you. It's your choice: listen to the whisper or wait for the brick.

I was minding my own business in the session just for wives, ready to take notes and “be all I could be” in the "wifey" department. When another woman, a total stranger who was sitting in front of me turned around and introduced herself. We exchanged the usual pleasantries. One of which was asking about each other’s families. I found out  the ages of her children were 24, 22, 20, 18 and 5. That kind of needed a comment, so I said  “Wow that’s quite a span between your last two"


She replied , "Yes we adopted our daughter from Romania.”

I should have realized the potential for the brick, but I remained unaware that this was a God appointment.

I then innocently offered, “My husband and I are kind of thinking about adopting maybe someday”. (Notice all the wiggle room I left for myself, lots of ways to get out of this option.)

She smiled and the speaker called us to our seats and I thought our conversation was done.

It wasn't. God had a few things to say and He had chosen the servant to do the job. Right after the session ended this woman again, I might mention a complete stranger, turned around and said to me “Kim, You need to adopt!”

I smiled and thought, she looked so normal earlier, how in the world does someone have the boldness to tell someone else, a total stranger what they need to do. Kudos to her for remembering my name, but weren't we all supposed to be listening about being the great wife! I know I was!!

So I politely said "Really????" I was intrigued, this was too bizarre.

She continue,”Kim, there are far too many children in this world who need a family. And there aren’t enough Christians willing to open their homes and hearts to these children. If God is speaking to you and your husband about this, you need to follow.”

I’ll admit I’ve never had a conversation quite like that one. I really believe that God used that sweet woman to launch the brick that we needed to really begin to see what God was leading us into and follow the plan He had laid out for us.  God had been whispering and now was the time for the brick. We began to move forward with an adoption.

This isn’t the part where “we lived happily ever after”, but it is the part that we learned a bit more about faith and trust in the ONE who controls every circumstance.  Our feet we secure in Him and we just needed to trust and follow.

 During Gillian’s adoption process we lost our first referral. Her name was Maria and we were planning on naming her Isabella. We had her picture on our fridge for 3 months when the news came that her birthmother had left Guatemala and was reportedly in Honduras. Without her birth mom's appearance in court, she was unable to be adopted to a couple in the United States. That was a pretty low day. God was there. Friends of ours took the boys and we went to a restaurant to talk, grieve and pray. When we arrived back at our van, Kent went to get the boys and I hopped in the van to ride home. This was the song playing at that time

...So now I’ll walk a different road

 I want to see Him there before I even go
I’ve run ahead and gone too slow
I’ve got to be still now
Wait upon His will now
This time, It’s gonna be His time

Don’t want to live without
The peace that comes to me
When I am by His side
I’ve known the freedom there
Can’t find it anywhere But in Christ Jesus
I believe He’s got a plan
Everything in His time
I may not always understand

Everything in His time

When I arrived home I was crying, He had met me right where I was at. I could not understand this development, but I knew He did and I needed to follow Him, no matter where that led. As I walked into the house, we had left an instrumental cd playing before we left. In preparation for my entrance, God had apppointed this song to be quietly playing through our home.

In His time, in His time

He makes all things beautiful,  in His time

Lord, please show me everyday

As your teaching me your way

That you do just what you say

In Your time...

Words are inadequate in moments like these, I was on holy ground. The God of the universe who created me, was so obviously there in that loss and He not only knew the end, but He knew just what to say to give me hope for the next minute. He knew Gillian, He knew we needed to grow in our relationship with Him and this was one of those mighty moments of faith we would experience along the way. 

You see God’s plan included this path and it wasn’t painless but He never left us on our own, He was right there through every high and every low.  God gave and He took away, but in the end He was glorified and we knew a bit more about who He was and how He works in and through us.

Kent wrote this poem for Gillian and it summarizes his feelings through the process…

After much prayer and searching our hearts
It felt  as if our family could be missing a few parts
With much discussion and seeking God’s direction
We felt led to Guatemala with our excess affection

After checking around it became clear we’d need a hand

For it isn’t easy bringing a baby from a far away land
We sought wisdom from family, friends and anyone who could afford
But from more than men we sought help from the Lord


So in 1997 the long process began
The struggles involved we didn’t quite understand
We started with confidence because we had what it took
By the time it was finished only to God we could look

What fun it would be as the process evolved
To meet you our anticipation would be solved
So on a weekend in April to your country we flew
How perfect you’d be who could have known

But after a few hours it was time to head home
Back to Nate and Trent to wait by the phone
Only the three little items that were to take three short weeks
Soon developed complications that made all look bleak.

You see God wasn’t ready to finish the deal
Cause we needed to know how true dependence would feel
So through this whole process what did Mom and Dad Learn?
That to focus on Jesus you shouldn’t have to turn

For if from the beginning we’d left this to him
We’d never had the feeling out chances were slim
So in His own time He made it all happen
And then in that sweetness nothing our spirits could dampen

The final trip included Grandma, Trent  & Nate

Who thought a little sister would be so great
For Maria who kept you since you were 3 days old
It was a happy day with sorrow untold.
                                                                                     

 After 2 days with our paperwork complete

You had your 1^st plane ride with your very own seat
As the plane roared and left the ground
Again our God had been faithful His grace did abound

And then in the airport packed with family and friends

Our 1^st little chapter had come to an end
Welcome home Gillian you fit us just right
And you certainly are Daddy’s delight

So now dear baby learn right from the start

Trust all to Jesus and give Him your heart
For through you we’ve seen Him in a whole new way
And Dad’s here to ask you to trust and obey 

 God writes the best stories, His surprises are glimpses of His heart. He alone is worthy of all of my worship and praise!

Isaiah 43

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

Blogging

I have considered blogging for over 2 years now. There were various reasons for doing so. I have a whole bunch of kiddos and my brain seems to be occupied quite often with the here and now. But someday when I'm old(er), I want to remember. Great reason to blog. I am not sure whether I am a great story-teller, but I do know I love to tell them. When I start to see someone's eyes glazing over as I've waxed way too long, I think...perhaps a blog. In our most recent adoption there were times I needed an outlet, a way to express and it didn't matter if anyone understood it or read it, just a place to pour it out. Oh and the final reason, I read so many great blogs, I want to play, too!!

So as I have pondered, I've tried to think of a fabulous name that isn't already taken. It's taken all of two years and we arrived at surprises abound. Here is the short story. ;-) I love God because of the way he surprises me in this life He has given to me. If you know me and the way in which God has expanded our family you would remember some of those surprises. He surprises me daily with glimpses of Him scattered through the sometimes craziness of managing my life and all the fringe benefits I've been blessed to receive. Somedays, I am sure I've seen it all, but God manages to slip in a sweet surprise just for me. Case in point. Will our baby of the family, was praying at lunch and thanking God for each person in our family by name, sometimes twice. (There are a lot of us.) At the close of his prayer he spoke in his sweet,expressive,  4 year old voice. "Thank you Jesus, you love us too much!" We all giggled because it was funny, Will was giggling too! But as I pondered his statement, wow I really loved it. It really ministered to me. God surprised me in a day where I was feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, like the shoes I was trying to fill were 4 times too big for me. God clearly chose the wrong girl for this assignment. But God's surprise came through a little prophet named Will, who said "Jesus You love us too much." For me what it meant was I will never be able to grasp His love for me. Never. It's too much.  Ephesians 3 supports Will's declaration. "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.

At a recent conference I was challenged in a time of reflection to write down the ways God has already equipped me for the tasks to which He has called me. As I was journaling and realizing how many ways He has done this. The speaker was circulating around the room, she laid her hand on my shoulder and prayed silently over me. When she finished she whispered in my ear, "I prayed that you would be surprised by what is on your list."  I was. It's not the first time. You see Jesus said in John 10:10 I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly. Thank you Jesus, for surprising me with your abundant love that I will never fully know. You love me too much!