Progress

I am counting the fact that last night I had a dream about changing the furniture around in my bedroom, as a precursor to the light at the end of the tunnel. Kent thinks I am crazy, it’s only a dream. Hmmm…maybe, but in the dream I was moving furniture. I was MOVING furniture.

Last week we realized the reason I wasn’t bouncing back is that I have mono, and bouncing back is kind of not something you do with mono. You sort of slide back into the land of the living at a snail’s pace, so you can understand my excitement with my dream.

My parents are flying home from Florida to sort of circle the wagons here on the home front. It will be great to see them, but I feel horrible that my plight is cause for their flight. If hopes and dreams and wishes could make me feel better, I would have been well a while ago. Today our house faced the weekly disappointment of missing Bible study, and the sting today was particularly painful, due to the Valentine’s festivities planned. The valentines are all ready and the eyes and hearts are all eager, and the 6:30a.m. march started with,

 “Are you feeling better, Mom?”

“Do you have a fever today?”

“Are you well enough to go to Bible Study?”

I even got breakfast in bed, a tall glass of apple juice, a protein bar and a heart shaped dark chocolate candy.

I realized earlier this week that the thing I struggle with the most when I am well, is the thing I struggle with while I am sick.

The Plan.

I just really need to know how long this affliction will last, at least that is what I tell myself. I only need to know the length of time.

But when I considered that,

 I realized that isn’t true.

 I want to know the plan so that I can negotiate. Perhaps offer God some great big promise of what I will do when health is restored and just maybe He could relent and restore me faster than the Plan, so that I can fulfill all these great things for Him.

I love the words of this song, and the reminder to me of what I do know and what I need to know.

I am not skilled to understand

 What God has willed, what God has planned

 I only know at His right hand

 Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed

 Christ died to save me; this I read

 And in my heart I find a need

 Of Him to be my savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives

 My Savior's always there for me

 My God: He was, my God; He is

 My God is always gonna be,     Aaron Shust

So for today,

I don’t know the plan,

I know the ONE who does,

My Savior’s always there for me

He’s always gonna be!!

This is progress!