My God is so BIG!

Last week at a Bible study that we attend, my small group discussed those times in life when you just know God is speaking to you directly. You know when you read a passage and are struck by something, then later that day you hear the same verse quoted on the radio as you are driving. You find that ironic. Then you come home and you are preparing dinner and you see a scrap of paper on the counter.  In child's handwriting you see the same verse, which happened to be scratched down and placed for your confirmation that, yes, indeed, God wants you to know some vital truth for your life TODAY!!

So I had that happen last Thursday. It was a busy week. Crazy busy. Even for our standards. For example. The house is getting new flooring. I will say when the decision was made 11 years ago to put off-white carpet in the main room of the house, we had 3 kids. Even though that was the rage at that time, it's been a decision that has caused one of the biggest, "what we were thinking" moments recently. 6 kids later and a whole lot of living, several professional cleanings and enough Resolve to fill the pool, the carpet needed to be retired. So in order for the house to get new flooring in the living room, dining room, entry way, stairway and landing, several components of the house needed displaced. We've been lucky to find matching socks, both shoes and coats in the last 3 weeks. Those rooms needed to be available for the installers who would join us in our home for 4 days last week. (I don't mind living with some insanity, but I do bristle if we are going to be observed in the chaos, there are some standards.) Anyway the garage and screen porch now house the bulk of the contents of the previous rooms.

Also added into the chaos of the moments, were 4 basketball games, (all at least an hour away), 8 basketball practices, 2 practices for leading worship at Community Bible Study, preparation for playing for worship at Church on Sunday, 2 doctor's appointments (1 hour away),1 piano lesson (I cancelled the other 5), opening day for "the hunt", 2 Lego League practices for the all day Lego League tournament on Saturday. The cat's out of the bag, we need an event coordinator. The last one we had, has just given up and most of the time lives moment to moment, relying on the 5 year old who is great with helpful reminders. Oddly enough, in a brief moment of consultation, Kent and I realized that a "date night" was probably not possible, who knew.

So anyway, suffice it to say I needed a wee bit more time last week and I always seem to find that time in the same place...1:00a.m. I dislike finding extra time then, I have lots of other places I would prefer, but I've looked it's not there. So on Wednesday night when I was finishing up the music for Bible Study and re looking at the passage we had studied this past week. The title was "Nothing is Impossible With God." God comes to Abraham in Genesis 18 and actually He is the one who states this truth in verse 14. "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Sarah had laughed as God has reconfirmed the promise of a son and has included her by name as having this boy by this time next year. So I was left picking the song before the lecture and it was 2:00a.m. I had a bit of headache and the self talk was something like this, "You know, if you were _ _ _ _ _ (insert organized, well balanced person's name) this would have been done on Monday, whereby allowing you some time to meditate on the truth of these songs, by oh, no, you don't know how to do anything orderly, you love this insanity, you just need to learn to say no to some things, balance girlfriend, is that a word that you've ever heard of or can relate to, etc, lots of self-loathing and finger pointing at oneself. It's so hard to pick a great song when your mind isn't fully present and at 2:00a.m., for real, whose is? But I perservered I knew there had to be a great song, proclaiming "Nothing is impossible with God." And ...bam, there it was..."He is able".

He is able, more than able

to accomplish what concerns me today

He is able, more than able

to handle anything that comes my way,

He is able, more than able

to do much more than I could ever dream.

He is able, more than able

to make me what He wants me to be.

I am a little more weepy at 2 as well, and the truth of this song pierced my rambling, raging mind and brought peace in the midst of the storm. Even through the choices that I have made and the plans that I have laid, God is able, God is with me and He hears me and knows me and loves me and provides for me. I was grateful. I fininshed up the last few things and trudged to bed with renewed hope for my days.

But God was still working. During Bible study I received a text and realized that I needed to accompany a child to the doctor's appointment that I thought was covered, but forgot that in the fabulous world of multi, multi-tasking, the coach needed to leave the appointment and go to a practice in Grand Rapids and this child needed to be at a practice in Fremont. My presence was requested. Cue the loud scream in my head, and the request of, "when does the ride stop? I'm ready to get off, now." Bible study ended and I rounded up the troops, I listened to the sweet chatter as we headed for the "silver bullet". When we got in the car and I started to give the agenda for the "new plan" and where we were all going and what we would be doing. There was one child who was in his own little world. He was singing, and God knew that I needed to be brought into his little world. This is what Isaiah was singing, in his four year old voice that projects in amazing ways, over the din of 7 other people in a big, gray van.

My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty

There's nothing my God cannot do.

My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty

There's nothing my God cannot do.

The mountains are his, the valleys are his,

The skies are his handiwork too,

My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty

There's nothing my God cannot do.

for YOU!!

We sang it together, all of us, and I was once again, brought to my knees with gratefulness to my God who sees, hears, knows, understands and is faithful to complete His work in my life. He created me and He has given me this life, all be it, sometimes I don't include Him in making my committments and find myself in a cyclone, but even there. He is there. His preference is that He would be my event coordinator, and He is oh so willing to do that for me. But unlike the 5 year old, He isn't always in my business, He waits for me to seek Him. But His word to me last week was, in spite of where you find yourself and your neglect in consulting me before your "not-so-well" laid plans. Kim, I am in the busy-ness of your life, even in those stolen moments of 2 a.m. and the hustle and bustle from one great thing to the other. I will be there for you, I will pursue you, because I love you.

My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty, there is nothing My God cannot do! He is able to accomplish what concerns me today, and in the midst of the moments of this life I am pursued with a message of His grace, love, acceptance and HOPE!!

I love November, a month to reflect, look back and be thankful!

November is a beautiful month. There are typically still a few leaves hanging on to remind us of fall and the beauty of autumn. But here in Michigan we usually see the first of our snow! It's also a month that begins that wonderful "holiday" time of year. For me it has always been a month of thanksgiving. Not just for the purpose of the holiday but because it is a month full of celebrations and reflections. So for this November I wanted to share a few of my favorite things. (cue Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music.)



 Kent. I love November because I love Kent. We get to celebrate our anniversary. It's also a time of year when I get to see him a little bit more. Tonight we made the family watch the video of our wedding. (It was a first time event, perhaps not making the annual tradition list.) It was entertaining on a variety of levels. While I was reminiscing about the lovely words of the songs that were being sung, Trent was singing in an opera voice mocking our selections. At one point Justin quipped with way too much sarcasm for an 8-year old. "Is anyone else crying,  yet?" The girls all tried on my dress. That provided enough giggles for all.

 Harvest. I love November because we usually finish harvesting all that we've planted on the farm, some years the harvest doesn't cover the expenses of the sowing. But through all the years that I've been blessed to be a part of springtime and harvest. God has provided and we are still able to come to November and call our year complete. This year after planting about 2400 acres of crops, tonight we have 25 acres of corn to be harvested and 10 acres of carrots. The finish is in site and it feels great!!

 Snow.  I love November because usually we see the first snow during this month. I get so excited for the first snow, I can't help myself. I attribute this to a wonderful childhood. My parents were experts at celebrating and enjoying life. So even though I know I will wonder in January how many more cold, snowy days there are to endure. In November it's a beautiful thing. This year the mad scramble for coats, mittens and sleds occured last Friday. It's hard not to be filled with joy when the whole house feels as if God has delivered the most magnificent surprise EVER!!

 Pumpkin. I love November because I love pumpkin. It's always a delight to try new things and old stand bys. The month is just ripe for using big cans of pumpkin for lots of delicious treats to enjoy and sample. This year our current new favorite is Pumpkin Caramel Cinnamon Rolls . You should try them.

Pumpkin Caramel Cinnamon Rolls

 Hunting. I love November because I love the excitement at our house surrounding "the hunt". It's not really my thing, I've tried, it's just not. But I do have enough boys to see what it does to some avid souls. I am in awe of the things one would sacrifice for "the hunt". For example, sleep. At our house usually we need to rise around 4:30 on the first morning, just so we can go to breakfast and be in our blind in plenty of time for daybreak. Other than birthing a child, I can't think of any good reason to get up at 4:30, by choice. But it is certainly a celebration and holiday time during the week of "the hunt"! Even if boys are not old enough to hunt, they get to participate in all the extra activities and sit with either their dad, big brother or grandpa and watch how this rite of passage is done.



 Thanksgiving Day. I love November because I love the celebration of Thanksgiving Day. Lots of food, lots of family, lots of football. I love reflecting on those things in my life that I am thankful for.

 As I reflect on 2011, there were some major events that cause me to be thankful. In January Isaiah got a new thumb. That was a big deal. With the medical advancements of today, Isaiah's doctor was able to take his index finger and place it in a thumb position. He's thrilled, we are too. He can snap now and he is so proud to show off his new thumb to anyone who will look.

In March we received the diagnosis that Isaiah had Fanconi Anemia. We suspected this was what he had. I don't think it was random that the day we found out about the diagnosis was Nate's 21st birthday and Hope's 11th birthday. A great day for us, a celebration. I remember thinking, God will you let Isaiah reach 21 years. Where will he be when he turns 11, and God...21. Can you give us 21 years with him. It was a day filled with tears, more than I expected. Here is a portion of a journal entry on that day.

Yesterday after many tests, attempts at tests and prayers, we received an official diagnosis for Isaiah. Fanconi Anemia. This is the foe we expected but were not certain we were facing. The news wasn’t necessarily shocking, but it definitely brought into clarity the mountain that stands before us. I was struck by a couple of things. First, this is a mountain, but my God is the same. As I was so eloquently reminded in the wisdom of my now 21 year old son, Nate, God was not surprised by yesterday’s news. In fact, it doesn’t change the purpose He has for Isaiah’s life. He has had and will accomplish this purpose. We were designed by a Creator for a specific purpose. Each one of us. Thanks Nate! I needed that reminder.

So as I reflect on those things to be thankful for God has granted peace and I know with certainty that God chose Isaiah for our family. He has taught us so much through an amazing, 4-year old Korean boy. I am once again amazed at how God uses his little children to teach his bigger children all they need to know about reliance on Him. I am thankful.

I Corinthians 1:27-31

 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,  so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

So as I reflect on this November and all that I am grateful for. Let me say this, above all I am thankful for a God who sees me, knows me, hears me and above all of that, and in spite of all of that LOVES me. Through this journey he has set me on, He continues to reveal more and more of His love to me through the little surprises along the way.

Chris Tomlin's song is a great reminder to me of the mighty things our God has done, and that there is nothing He cannot do. There is none like Him!! So because I know He is a healer, He is greater, He is stronger. There is nothing that can stand against us!! Amen!!

I love November!!

"Our God"

Water you turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind there's no one like you none like You!
Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there's no one like you none like You!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there's no one like you none like You!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
What could stand against.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
Then what could stand against.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

25 years and counting!!

Kent and I have been married for 25 years today! We were mere children, I was 18 and he was 19. That seems like so long ago.

I remember...

           a mentor couple taking us out to a beautiful restaurant to celebrate our engagement.

I remember...
 
           they were so encouraging and sweet and they mentioned that they were celebrating their 25th anniversary that year.

I remember...

          with clarity thinking how "old" they were. They were still fun, but wow, they were old. God has allowed me to remember that, so that I can look at a couple now married for 50 years, and view them differently. Seriously, this is just around the corner for us. ;-)

God has surprised Kent and I many times on our journey together. But the biggest surprise of all is how He took two, very young people, grew them up and gave them a family and a life that neither of them ever dreamed of, but they both remain so grateful for. God writes the best love stories.

I remain...

                 grateful for the man that God has given to me to enjoy life with.

I remain...

                 in awe of the way God takes our lives and weaves them together in a way that sometimes feels a bit painful, but upon further reflection is simply stunning.

I remain...

                           excited for what the next 25 years will hold and the surprises God intends for us to enjoy or struggle through together.

I love you Kent, you were and remain God's best for me!!

... can you even believe the way God has surprised us with all of this.....

                           Better than I was

     More than I am,

and all of this happened, by  taking your hand!

Gillian Grace...God's surprise from Guatemala!!

It may amaze you to know that although we have 9 children through God's extravagant plan, we actually had some years of infertility. Those were extremely difficult as any who know that pain can relate. I didn't understand that period of time until my sister in law, Billie, offered this possible explanation several years ago.


"Kim, I think I know why God had you go through those years of infertility, because He knew what was coming your way and He needed you to want a baby really bad, because it wasn't going to be just one!" She may be right!!


What I didn't realize during that time of infertility is that God had a plan and He was at work. I love John Piper's quote regarding this mystery.

In every situation God is always doing 1000 we cannot see and don’t know, if we don’t understand why He’s allowing the situation we’re presently in, we can trust Him that  999  other things are going on and are all working together for our good and His glory.

So one of those 999  things God was working on that I didn’t see, was opening our hearts to adoption. We began praying about that. But we weren’t sure. There is an acknowledgement of loss when you pursue adoption and turn from the time and investment of treating infertility. During that time we went to a marriage conference and it was there that God threw the first brick.

Maybe some of you have heard this before, as the recipient of several bricks, I can relate.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at you. It's your choice: listen to the whisper or wait for the brick.

I was minding my own business in the session just for wives, ready to take notes and “be all I could be” in the "wifey" department. When another woman, a total stranger who was sitting in front of me turned around and introduced herself. We exchanged the usual pleasantries. One of which was asking about each other’s families. I found out  the ages of her children were 24, 22, 20, 18 and 5. That kind of needed a comment, so I said  “Wow that’s quite a span between your last two"


She replied , "Yes we adopted our daughter from Romania.”

I should have realized the potential for the brick, but I remained unaware that this was a God appointment.

I then innocently offered, “My husband and I are kind of thinking about adopting maybe someday”. (Notice all the wiggle room I left for myself, lots of ways to get out of this option.)

She smiled and the speaker called us to our seats and I thought our conversation was done.

It wasn't. God had a few things to say and He had chosen the servant to do the job. Right after the session ended this woman again, I might mention a complete stranger, turned around and said to me “Kim, You need to adopt!”

I smiled and thought, she looked so normal earlier, how in the world does someone have the boldness to tell someone else, a total stranger what they need to do. Kudos to her for remembering my name, but weren't we all supposed to be listening about being the great wife! I know I was!!

So I politely said "Really????" I was intrigued, this was too bizarre.

She continue,”Kim, there are far too many children in this world who need a family. And there aren’t enough Christians willing to open their homes and hearts to these children. If God is speaking to you and your husband about this, you need to follow.”

I’ll admit I’ve never had a conversation quite like that one. I really believe that God used that sweet woman to launch the brick that we needed to really begin to see what God was leading us into and follow the plan He had laid out for us.  God had been whispering and now was the time for the brick. We began to move forward with an adoption.

This isn’t the part where “we lived happily ever after”, but it is the part that we learned a bit more about faith and trust in the ONE who controls every circumstance.  Our feet we secure in Him and we just needed to trust and follow.

 During Gillian’s adoption process we lost our first referral. Her name was Maria and we were planning on naming her Isabella. We had her picture on our fridge for 3 months when the news came that her birthmother had left Guatemala and was reportedly in Honduras. Without her birth mom's appearance in court, she was unable to be adopted to a couple in the United States. That was a pretty low day. God was there. Friends of ours took the boys and we went to a restaurant to talk, grieve and pray. When we arrived back at our van, Kent went to get the boys and I hopped in the van to ride home. This was the song playing at that time

...So now I’ll walk a different road

 I want to see Him there before I even go
I’ve run ahead and gone too slow
I’ve got to be still now
Wait upon His will now
This time, It’s gonna be His time

Don’t want to live without
The peace that comes to me
When I am by His side
I’ve known the freedom there
Can’t find it anywhere But in Christ Jesus
I believe He’s got a plan
Everything in His time
I may not always understand

Everything in His time

When I arrived home I was crying, He had met me right where I was at. I could not understand this development, but I knew He did and I needed to follow Him, no matter where that led. As I walked into the house, we had left an instrumental cd playing before we left. In preparation for my entrance, God had apppointed this song to be quietly playing through our home.

In His time, in His time

He makes all things beautiful,  in His time

Lord, please show me everyday

As your teaching me your way

That you do just what you say

In Your time...

Words are inadequate in moments like these, I was on holy ground. The God of the universe who created me, was so obviously there in that loss and He not only knew the end, but He knew just what to say to give me hope for the next minute. He knew Gillian, He knew we needed to grow in our relationship with Him and this was one of those mighty moments of faith we would experience along the way. 

You see God’s plan included this path and it wasn’t painless but He never left us on our own, He was right there through every high and every low.  God gave and He took away, but in the end He was glorified and we knew a bit more about who He was and how He works in and through us.

Kent wrote this poem for Gillian and it summarizes his feelings through the process…

After much prayer and searching our hearts
It felt  as if our family could be missing a few parts
With much discussion and seeking God’s direction
We felt led to Guatemala with our excess affection

After checking around it became clear we’d need a hand

For it isn’t easy bringing a baby from a far away land
We sought wisdom from family, friends and anyone who could afford
But from more than men we sought help from the Lord


So in 1997 the long process began
The struggles involved we didn’t quite understand
We started with confidence because we had what it took
By the time it was finished only to God we could look

What fun it would be as the process evolved
To meet you our anticipation would be solved
So on a weekend in April to your country we flew
How perfect you’d be who could have known

But after a few hours it was time to head home
Back to Nate and Trent to wait by the phone
Only the three little items that were to take three short weeks
Soon developed complications that made all look bleak.

You see God wasn’t ready to finish the deal
Cause we needed to know how true dependence would feel
So through this whole process what did Mom and Dad Learn?
That to focus on Jesus you shouldn’t have to turn

For if from the beginning we’d left this to him
We’d never had the feeling out chances were slim
So in His own time He made it all happen
And then in that sweetness nothing our spirits could dampen

The final trip included Grandma, Trent  & Nate

Who thought a little sister would be so great
For Maria who kept you since you were 3 days old
It was a happy day with sorrow untold.
                                                                                     

 After 2 days with our paperwork complete

You had your 1^st plane ride with your very own seat
As the plane roared and left the ground
Again our God had been faithful His grace did abound

And then in the airport packed with family and friends

Our 1^st little chapter had come to an end
Welcome home Gillian you fit us just right
And you certainly are Daddy’s delight

So now dear baby learn right from the start

Trust all to Jesus and give Him your heart
For through you we’ve seen Him in a whole new way
And Dad’s here to ask you to trust and obey 

 God writes the best stories, His surprises are glimpses of His heart. He alone is worthy of all of my worship and praise!

Isaiah 43

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

A heart for orphans

James 1:26-27

New International Version (NIV)

²⁶ Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. ²⁷ Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

God loves orphans and has allowed us the priviledge of being His hands to those in this world who don't have parents. Perhaps you may realize this, maybe you don't, but November 6th is Orphan Sunday.

http://vimeo.com/12616432

In my life God has given me a love for orphans. At the end of the above video it asks people to help because they need you, and then there is a pause and it says "you need them even more"...it's true. It rings true in my life.

The first orphan that God brought into our home was named Aura Lorena and Kent and I met her in a hotel in Guatemala City when she was 5 months old. We had fallen in love with a picture and a promise that she'd be ours. We were awaiting her arrival with her foster mom and time stood still, or so it seemed. Shortly before the appointed hour we received a call from the front desk.

"Someone is here waiting for you." We left our room and from that first step into the hallway we had a view of the front desk. There was a tiny woman holding an even tinier baby. She was dressed in an aqua-green satin dress. It was homemade. She had a full head of thick, black hair and the biggest, brownest eyes I'd ever seen. She took my breath away. My heart was once again stolen in a way I can't explain. Within a few steps we were right next to her and within minutes she was in our arms. It was and is indescribable.

But I can tell you this, God knew how much joy, love and relationship with Him we would gain if we would just follow His instruction to care for orphans. You see I didn't realize it then, but I needed Gillian way more than she needed me.

She would show me God's heart through her life. God would use Gillian's life to touch so many. He would use the whole experience to open our hearts to His and experience this awe-inspiring, full of worship journey 3 more times. (Who knows maybe there are more surprises in store.) But whatever the journey, I am so grateful to the Creator, who knew when sin entered the world, lots of horribly sad things would follow. He invited His Creation, us, to partner with Him in caring and sharing His love with these children.

Would you be willing to pray this prayer with me for the next 14 days as you seek Him

and inquire about the possibilities and surprises He may have for you?

Am I willing to follow God wherever He may lead

so that I might more fully know Him and make Him known?